They Wanted Calm. They Got Me.

Fred tells his side of the story…..

I wasn’t quite what my humans had in mind when they decided to adopt another dog. They had a plan: small-to-medium, calm, easy-going, the kind of dog who doesn’t act like he’s just downed three espressos.

Back then, I was called Joki, scruffy, and (apparently) very adoptable. A friend sent them my photo, and I ticked every box: cute, compact, and not a chaotic puppy. A ready-made companion.” Outstanding marketing. Slightly misleading. When they came to meet me, the volunteers at the refuge placed me straight into Richard’s arms. I made an immediate executive decision: That one is mine.

They left (rude), then came back days later pretending to have “thought it through.” Meanwhile, I’d already chosen my human. Richard was clearly the correct option. The other human, Nikki? She was pleasant. However, credit where it’s due, she launched a relentless bribery campaign. Treats. Cuddles. Effort. Suspicious levels of dedication. After a couple of weeks, I upgraded her to very lovable.

Once I settled in, I really came into my own. Turns out I’m part Yorkshire Terrier and part… rocket. Possibly a tornado. They expected calm and delicate. They got high-speed, high-energy, fully committed chaos. To be fair, I can relax after four walks, an agility session, twenty laps of the house, and a few vertical jumps to check on the neighbour’s dog. Then I collapse on the sofa like butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth.


For six weeks, I didn’t bark. Not once. They thought I was broken. One evening, Nikki and Richard made a critical mistake: they put on a nature documentary. And suddenly, WOLVES. Real wolves. On the television. In my house. Obviously, I took immediate action. Full-volume barking. Rapid deployment around the living room. Tactical inspection behind the TV (very suspicious). Emergency sprint upstairs, then back down again to secure the perimeter. I handled the situation flawlessly. They, on the other hand, nearly fell off the sofa. Since then, wildlife documentaries have been banned. A wise decision.

They say I’m “a bit of a handful.” I say I’m enthusiastic. At the vet, for example, I like to announce my arrival loudly. It’s only polite. Inside, I perform a mix of wrestling, evasive manoeuvres, and interpretive wriggling. The vet offers biscuits. I remain professionally difficult.

In conclusion: I may not be the calm, low-maintenance dog they planned…..but I chose them, I trained them, and I keep things interesting. And yes, they absolutely adore me.

As they should.


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You can follow Fred on  X (Twitter) or Bluesky  and I´m on Facebook

I have products Tote bags, posters, coasters and magnets available for purchase of my illustrations from my shop on Redbubble

Nobody´s Poodle

I have written three books, two co-written with my husband, Richard. Nobody’s Poodle was our first book and starred the late great Gizmo. It’s fiction but some of the events in the book are based on facts.

How could anybody abandon a dog like Gizmo … ?

When loveable Labradoodle, Gizmo, is uprooted from his home in cold, grey, muddy England to start a new life in Tenerife, he’s stoic. But just when he’s learnt the local woof-speak and survived an out-of-botty experience at the vet he’s abandoned on the mean streets of Costa del Scorchio.

With a cast of wonderful woofers and a story that’s the mutt’s nuts, Nobody’s Poodle is the dog’s danglies of a book!.

5 Star Amazon Review – This is a wonderful and very creative book! It touches my heart! The author really communicates the heart and soul of a wonderful dog. I hope more people will read this book and understand the sadness a deserted dog must endure.

5 Star Amazon Review – Funny, touching and smartly written story! Broke my heart at times but it also made me laugh! I now when I walk with my Doodle, Pedro, I realize he’s picking up email or leaving messages at every tree, post or fire hydrant we come across! LOL

Nobody’s Poodle is available on Amazon

You can join me on Facebook

Badger and Toad

Badger and Toad illustration which will be included in my next book ´Once Upon a Time – a collection of imaginary animals´

Here are some photos of customer´s dogs who requested a drawing of their pooch on products.

All these doggy products and more are available in my #Redbubble shop NikkiAttree.redbubble.com. I’m also offering a free drawing of your pooch in a cartoon style. The offer lasts until the 27th of September. All you have to do is send me a photo of your doggie I will produce a drawing and upload it so you then can buy products with your doggie’s furry face on a mug, tote bag, coasters, dog mat, etc. All I request is that you buy at least 2 products from my shop. Contact me either via my contact page or DM me on X, formerly known as Twitter @wooftasticbooks.